Using problem focused coaching to overcome internal barriers
07733 001711
Recover from divorce
Restoring strength, confidence, trust and positivity
What I do
Divorce leaves many people with emotional wounds. While some recover quickly, others struggle for years. The reason is simple: holding onto resentment keeps people from healing. The surprising solution: let go of resentment and then watch your strength, positivity, trust and confidence naturally return.
Why resentment is bad for us
Resentment is a common human response to mistreatment and unfairness. We stay resentful in the hope that one day there will be justice.
But to stay resentful we need to stay angry. To stay angry we need to stay in pain. And to stay in pain we artificially interrupt the body’s natural healing process. We effectively keep our finger prodded in the emotional wound to prevent it from healing. This means that if we stay resentful, the things that got damaged in divorce – most commonly trust, confidence and positivity – are all very slow to recover.
The benefits of letting go
Letting go of resentment brings many benefits. It brings inner peace as we let go of anger and bitterness and stop going over and over what happened in our mind. It brings strength as we recover our self belief, trust in others and optimism. It brings hope as we turn our attention from the pain of the past towards our wishes for the future. And finally it makes us role models for our children, showing them that love and forgiveness are more powerful than bitterness and anger.
The healing process
I have developed a ritual / exercise for letting go of resentments. Being guided through a healing process whilst being witnessed is a powerful experience. My coaching is very quick and the vast majority of people only need just one two-hour session. I get such good results that Luther College and Northumbria University are doing a series of studies into its effectiveness.
The best time to do this is once the divorce is over.
About me
My name is Stephen Tolfree. I am a life coach specialising in helping people let go of resentment. I have coached more than 1000 people.
My work is profound yet quick. The vast majority of my clients come for just one coaching session.
Letting go of resentment is a key part of why I'm now in a healthy marriage. There was something a previous partner had done that felt too difficult to forgive and so I took every opportunity to bad mouth her. I could forgive everything else, but not that. One day I realised that if I wanted to be more loving, I needed to let go of that resentment. This gave me the motivation to change overnight. If I was still bitter when I met my wife, she would have seen this as a red flag and concluded that I wasn't right for her. Rather than bad mouthing my ex I'm now careful to speak well of her, and my wife says that she was impressed by this when getting to know me. So letting go of resentments can lead to wonderful new relationships.
'“Divorce wasn’t a pleasant experience and left me lacking in confidence. I had a lot of fog in my mind, was struggling with work and I was not performing to the best of my ability. Stephen looked at the root cause of my confidence issues – the impact of divorce and how it impacted the work I was doing. He helped me let go of my resentments and recover my damaged personal qualities. The coaching was uplifting, gave me a different perspective and a tool for dealing with things. I’m now less resentful and am at peace with the divorce. I’m happier and don’t feel heavy about my situation and am less stressed. My confidence is boosted and I’m a lot more positive and goal driven. I’m less tentative and no longer need to second guess my decisions. My trust has improved: I’m more open and happy to be led by people. I’ve flourished in my new identity and independence of way of life and am enjoying travelling and socialising as a single person. I’m open to a new relationship but it’s not an urgent desire as there’s no longer a void to be filled. There have been lots of positive outcomes and overall I feel at ease and am comfortable with who I am.”
Do you want to recover your strength, trust, confidence and positivity?
Whatsapp: +44 (0)7733 001711